Christmas is one day, same day every year December 25. Chanukah is 8 days and jews never know when it starts until a non - jewish friend asks us, forcing us to consult a calendar from the world jewish congress, or the kosher butcher, so we don't look like idiots.
Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, and stereos... Jews get practical presents such as underwear, and socks.
Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah , so we are spared enormous electric bills, and we get to feel good about not contributing to global warming.
Christians women have fun baking Christmas cookies, jewish women irritate their eyes, and cut their hands, grating potatoes, and onions, for latkason Canukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.
A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies, and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions, and is always full of loud people all taking at once.
The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary , Joseph and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee and Matta Whatever. No one can spell it, or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.
